Happily ever after?

So

Now that I am feeling a bit better

Mentally and physically

My ED may be playing havoc

But 

I am human

My thoughts have once again turned to love

You might recall the date I had last summer

My first and only date in years

It didn't end in happily ever after

But thats ok

It was good experience

And still

I continue to believe that there will be a happy ending for me

Love wise

I'm a big believer in love and romance

Nothing excites me more

Than reading or hearing about a great love story 

I don't believe there is one person out there for us all

I believe there are many that could potentially be our perfect match

And even in my darkest hour 

I always believed I would fall in love at some stage 

I don't really think I've ever been properly in love

My first boyfriend was puppy love 

My next relationship was drug fuelled

Love had nothing to do with it 

Since then I've had a couple of short term relationships 

But no

I don't think I've ever truly been in love

I don't know what that feels Like 

Or looks like 

But I do believe that I will know it when I see it

And I believe it will happen for me

Sooner or later

There is someone 

Someone I've had my eye on

I've seen him a few times in the garage where I get my petrol and car repaired

I know his first name 

As I heard someone calling him one day 

But for now 

I will call him The bearded one

As he has a beard

I'm starting to see that I like a beard in a guy 

As long as it's well kept and neat

Anyway

I don't know this guy 

Don't know anything about him

I'm just going on basic human attraction

And the feeling I get from him

The last time I bumped in to him

I could sense him looking at me 

So I'm hoping he has checked me out too

Right 

This is my dilemma 

I get such a good feeling from this guy 

I like the 'gate' of him as my sister would say 

Meaning you like the look of him

So 

Should I be a modern woman 

Be proactive and ask the guys in the garage for his number?

Take a leap of faith 

And make the first move

Or should I frequent the garage every day in the hopes I run in to him?

Or do I leave my number in the garage for him?

And let him do the work

I don't know you guys

I am so rusty and out of practise with things like this 

But a huge part of me thinks I should just go for it

I mean 

What's the worst thing that could happen?

He could say no

And my ego would be bruised

But at least I would know that I gave it a shot 

And won't be wondering what if, For the rest of my life

Because 

The truth is 

That I would love to meet someone

To share a life with 

For company 

Some one to do things with 

Someone to love 

And who loves me

I think it would be great for me

As it can he lonely being 34 and having no one to share things with 

I would love to have another body

Another pulse 

Another heart beat 

So I know I'm not alone 

And I don't have to face life by myself 

I guess because I don't drink

Or frequent pubs or clubs

It's a little harder to meet like minded people 

There is online dating 

And I haven't really given that a fair shot 

So that is something to consider 

But I would love to meet some one the old fashioned way 

Call me a hopeless romantic...

I guess also 

I was ill for so long 

That a relationship wasn't even on my radar 

It isn't even an option when you are too busy trying to kill your self 

And I didnt want to drag any body in to my world of shit

But now 

Even though my ED is in a precarious state 

I think I need to continue to live as normal  a life as possible

And who doesn't love a good love story?

So 

Friends 

Here's where I need your help 

You are my girls 

My besties 

And I value your opinion greatly 

What do you think I should do?

Take control of the situation

And ask about this guy in the garage?

Wait until I run in to him again?

Let nature take its course?

Or leave well enough alone?

Maybe you have another idea

Something I haven't thought of 

Whatever you think 

I would love to know

How I wish I could invite you all round to mine

And we could chat over hot cups of tea and scones 

And put the world to right 

But really 

Let me know what you think

I'd love to know....