The thing about eating disorders and addiction is that we hear all the scare stories
The horror stories
We are of people that died horrible deaths
Lived lonely, empty lives
Starved, binged and purged themselves in to an early grave
Overdosed alone and weren't found for days
We hear about the endless health problems
Emotional distress
The hurt and worry of families and friends
The never ending merry go round of recovery and relapse
All this is very true and very real
But what people don't tell you is that in the beginning it feels good
In the beginning there is an incredible high during the first stages of weight loss or drug use
You feel strong
Powerful
In control
It's like a drug
A highly addictive drug
For the first few weeks or months we go through the 'Honeymoon phase'
We have just discovered this amazing new technique of dealing with life
A way to cope
Nothing can touch us
It's a secret life
When I first started taking drugs I wasn't ignorant
I knew the dangers
I just didn't care all that much
And when I took heroin for the first time I remember thinking 'Wow, how can something that feels this good be bad for me?'
For the first couple of months I was in heaven
I got to experience the drug without any of the negative consequences
People don't tell you that
That the reason you get hooked is because it feels so good
The reason you lie, cheat and steal and put your family through hell is because it feels so good
What is true though is that it's never as good as that first time
And you could spend years trying to replicate that feeling
Throw in the fact that you are sick without it and congratulations you are now addicted
It's a similar story with ED's
For me, my ED overlapped with my drug addiction
I just stopped eating
It wasn't a conscious decision
I wasn't trying to lose weight
All I knew was that when I didn't eat it felt good
It was a s simple and innocent as that
And that feeling was addictive
It was years before I realised that I had anorexia
Which then developed in to bulimia
Another revelation
I felt like I had found a loophole in the system of food and weight
I could eat as much food as I wanted and not gain weight
That was the theory anyway
Of course the honeymoon phase does not last long
Just long enough to get you hooked
That's the sneaky and sinister thing about EDs and addiction
They lure you in gently promises of happiness and success
Like catching flies with honey
But they are empty promises
It's a lie
A trick
An illusion
What you re really signing is a deal with the Devil
A death sentence
But by now it is almost too late and we are held captive
Breaking free becomes increasingly difficult
At best you will escape with minor health problems
At worst you will lose your life
I think that cigarettes are similar
I've smoked since I was 14
Again I'm not ignorant
I know the dangers and the health implications
But I do it because in that moment it feels good
I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow
Giving up is beyond hard
But I'll keep trying
I guess I'm thinking about this because I wonder what can be done to prevent EDs and addiction in young people today
I think we need to be more honest with them
Explain the dangers of course
But also explain that in the beginning it does feel good
I think if we neglect to do this, then if a young person tries a drug or purges and they see if feels good, then they will think we are lying to them and they may continue that behaviour
However in my case I really don't think that there is anything that anyone could have said to me to make me think twice about using or purging
I had to find out for myself
Yes, I learned the hard way but isn't that how lessons are best learnt?
We can arm our young people with information and education but other factors come in to play
Genetics being a big one
Addiction is rife in my family
And I have at least 3 aunts and 1 uncle who have food issues
So I was more susceptible
I suppose it's up to us to do what we can to protect the next generation
What do you think can be done to prevent EDs in young people?
What would you say to someone to deter them?
I am not sure what can be done to prevent ED... both my children having eating issues, the same as myself, over eating... I wish this was not one of the traits of mine they had followed. However; you cannot say to your children, "do as I say and not as I do" ...
ReplyDeleteHonesty is the best policy and I think you are right that we need to say that in the beginning these things feel good... it is what happens in time that enslaves us.
Fabulous blog Ruby :)
Things are different than when I started, I think. Granted, I didn't have internet at my house growing up so I don't know but it didn't seem like there was as much camaraderie with it as there is now. It was a lonely battle. You knew people that maybe had it but now there's blogging and all that. More ways to share it and "help" each other. Some blogs are strictly to show progress and I'm not sure if they want just a good job and people to notice or are hoping to be fueled negatively. Mine started tracking progress and has been more of a life with it sort of thing. If anything I hope that newcomers see my blog and see that it isn't fun or easy. Well, you're right. It is. At first. When you're my age on round two you feel like an idiot that never wants to grow up and needs to get your crap together. At 15, nahhh.
ReplyDeleteI think the best deterrent is to just appreciate strengths and not put down anyone's interests. Be there for them. Let them talk. Don't tell them how to be. Emphasize healthy eating and exercise that fits them. I felt pressure so I try to please. Now I'm trying to be myself and comfy. I don't think there is a true deterrent but loving people for who they are and supporting them. It helps at least. Good question.
I would tell them what a man who was addicted to heroin (he was a musician & model at the time and noone would have thought he was on it, told me when i was 15. He asked me what matters to me most, and i replied my music, my painting, my writing, my friends, my family,my animals. And he said once you are addicted to heroin nothing matters anymore. You won't get a pleasant feeling from achieving sth, not from your art, not from the company of your loved ones, no good feeling will come from nature from running, dancing, no simple pleasures, no big ones. The music will be silent.audible but just a mechanical sensation. The only good feelling you will have, will come from the drug. Plain, simple and dirty. If you want your life to be that- and just that- go ahead and try.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget this.it keept me from trying hards drugs up until now.and thats over ten years!
great.. did i miss the point? sorry, but i guess a milder version of the above would apply to ED, too.
DeleteAnother way I find it similar to addiction is that you often think or even say aloud 'I could stop if I HAD to, if I absolutely HAD to...' then one day my sister said to me 'if one of your family members life depended on it would you carry on'. The answer they are expecting is 'nooo of course not'. I realised as soon as she said it even that might not make me stop. I love my family more than anything. I was addicted.
ReplyDeleteI dont know what would help. My mum had anorexia and she told me everything that would follow when I began to unravel ED behaviours. She did everything in her power to stop me. But like you say- I just had to find out for myself.
I dont think I am alone in thinking somehow, in some odd delusion; that YOU are a different case. You will somehow just be too strong to get osteoperosis, you'll still have kids even with no periods. You'll just wrap up against this cold everyones talking about.
a few months down the line its 'FUCK' its happening to me- why did no one warn me.....oh yeah they did.
Inconclusive pointless comment I know, but i just dont know what anyone could say to deter people.
http://katiejess.blogspot.co.uk/
This is a really interesting question. I don't know if there are any foolproof ways to prevent eating disorders, but I do think that parents enforcing regular, nutritious, structured eating habits can help. I was always a good kid, never in trouble, and very independent, so there was a lot of freedom about my daily schedule when I was young. I really think this allowed me to experiment with dieting, restricting, overexercise, etc. and once that ball was set in motion, it was impossible to undo. Obviously I had the genetic predisposition, but I think that having the freedom to dabble in restriction when I was so young (around 11 or 12) triggered the full-blown illness that it became.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, I don't want to imply that my parents "allowed" me to get anorexia; someone might have the best, most loving parents in the world and still develop an ED. At the end of the day, eating disorders are diseases and sometimes people just get sick.
I just spent a four day conference going over these types of issues, and I'm going to given you all a brief on it because its valuable information for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI would tell people that it is never the outcome you wanted. If you wanted to be thin and pretty you end up a bag of bones poking out evrywhere which only ED patients find pretty. If you are looking for happiness and control you end up depressed that you spiraled out of control. It is much like making your three wishes with a genie, you make the wish but it nevers ends how you wanted it to.
ReplyDeleteI like you 6 month plan, I think it is perfect. If what you are doing right now isn't making you happy, which its not since you never laugh, then why bother doing it? If you were happy at least you would have that but instead you say you feel like you are watching your life go by. Its time to participate in living not just existing. Start small at let it snow ball into a life you enjoy.
'Wow, how can something that feels this good be bad for me?' Famous last words for pretty much EVERYTHING that feels good XD
ReplyDeleteI've seen enough of the shit side to know that I'll not escape it. I don't think the initial honeymoon period is really good enough to end up stuck with the rest of the shit. Gah, I've studied too much economics, lol. The benefit is too small to justify the cost. Except I know that if I find something that made me feel good on a regular basis there is NO WAY IN HELL I'd give it up, simply because I've felt like shit for so long I've forgotten what good feels like.
I have no answers to your questions. I really don't know.
What I've said to young people on here so far boils down to: "You're too awesome to die face-down in your own puke" and "Even Hitler deserved a more humane death than what you're giving yourself"
As for stopping it before it starts. . . there are so many, many things wrong with people and I just can't wrap my head around any of them to find a place to start. Not just Ed-wise, but the rest of the world.
Fuck, can i run away and live with wolves?
Love you Ruby *huggles*