I watched a documentary last night called 'Are we all addicts?' presented by Cherry Healey on BBC3
She explored different different substances that people seem to get addicted to eg diet pills and slimming aids, legal highs, laughing gas (never heard of that one) and viagra
One girl she interviewed had a cupboard full of pills and potions to help her lose weight and she confessed to trying any diet going.
I could identify with this girl as she was a former dancer and had put on weight after she stopped dancing.
I remember when I danced people were always saying 'be careful when you stop because your muscles turn to fat'
This was of course not true
The presenter of the show also spoke about her battle with weight and confessed to buying diet pills during the filming of the show.
I've bought diet pills twice and twice they didn't work but I can identify with wanting to believe that maybe this is magical answer to all my weight worries
Even though the diet pills didn't work I still have them in my room and every now and then I think 'maybe they'll work this time' and try them again
No doubt diet pills can be addictive but the feeling is also addictive, the feeling that this is the answer to all my problems
The feeling of starting a diet whether it works or not, the promise of happiness
When my eating disorder started it wasn't about weight, I never weighed myself and had no idea I was ill, I just knew that not eating made me feel better, not eating made me feel amazing
It was only when doctors started weighing me that I became aware of my weight and bmi
I learned what an anorexic was supposed to weigh and because I had been given this label I put pressure on myself to stay below that weight
Of course like a lot of people somewhere along the way I got the message that thin equals happiness and success
I know now that couldn't be further from the truth
I know myself that I can get addicted to something very easily, not just to the usual suspects like drugs and alcohol but to anything that gives me a good feeling
If I discover a food I like (at the moment it's twix bars) I eat it constantly and get anxious if I know there are none in the house so I stock up on them
I remember a few years ago my 'food' was drifter bars
I ate them like they were going out of fashion
And then they did
All of a sudden shops stopped stocking them
I remember one day being with my mother in the car and getting her to drive me from shop to shop to shop looking for these bars.
I felt no different to when I craved heroin
I just had to have them and only them, no other chocolate bar would do
I remember around this time my boss gave me a birthday present of a bumper box of 48 drifters
You couldn't have given me a better gift
He knew me well
They were my drug
Same shit different substance
Television can be addictive to me
I could easily sit in front of the t.v for a day straight flicking from channel to channel watching endless
programmes
Sometimes I find it really difficult to tear myself away from it and will schedule my day around my favourite shows
I used to watch box sets in bed at night for hour,s I've stopped now as I wasn't getting any sleep
I've watched the whole boxset of The Sopranos back to back 3 times
Same with Mad Men
Same with Grey's Anatomy
Same with .........
The internet
I'm probably not alone with this one
Who hasn't looked up from their computer screen and realised that 4 hours have gone by since you last moved
I know I need to sign off when I'm holding my pee so I think I'm going to burst
I'm not a huge Facebook fan but endless google searches about anything and everything keep me plenty occupied
Hands up if you're addicted to the internet!
Tea
I don't drink coffee but I sure as hell am addicted to tea
I'm up about an hour and a half and I'm on my third cup of tea
And I have special cups that I drink out of
I'm afraid to count how many I drink a day
I remember in treatment they took my big cup off me and replaced it with a small one
Ididn't see the big deal until they pointed out I was getting up 3 times a night to make tea
They locked the kitchen after that
I think the tea is a comfort thing, a nice warm drink that soothes the soul
That and the caffeine of course
Exercise
Once I start I find it hard to stop
If I don't get 2-3 walks a day I freak out a bit
Having 2 dogs is my excuse and I'm sticking to it
Cigarettes
The worst culprit of all
I hate that I love them
I wish I'd never started
My dad gave them up recently and made it look very easy
And yes I 'm afraid to give them up incase I gain weight
Oh I almost forgot methadone
I've been taking it for so long I forget to count it, 7 years now
I'm weaning off it slowly, it's taking years
On that note I was wondering about you
Are you addicted to anything be it drink, drugs or the weird and the wonderful
I'd love to know
Much love to you x
I'm addicted to the usual suspects (weed & tobacco), and also coffee, math puzzles, and many other weird things. I'm addicted to really fucked up 'thinspo', but who isn't? I've been addicted to self-harm in one form or another for over 7 years.
ReplyDeleteI was addicted to sugar-free ice cream a few months back (full of sorbitol) as well as Quick-Eze (chewy peppermint indigestion tablets), which have been my strangest and most harmful food addictions. I ate so much of both, sometimes up to 10x to recommended upper limit. My stomach started to bloat 6" whenever I ate anything, and I had to avoid sorbitol, calcium supplements, gluten, and many other things for months before I stopped bloating (even when I'd eat fruit). Food addictions come all the time, though.
I've been addicted to abusing prescriptions & OTC meds (dating back to 12 years old), and had a few hospital admissions from ODs (when I was 12 and a half, I was in intensive care in an induced coma with tubes everywhere for two weeks). That's been under control for a few years now, except a couple of 'once-offs'.
Those are my main ones. Everyone's been addicted to something, I think. Some of us are just more susceptible than others.
Hope you're well
xxBella
I can relate, in drug treatment they used to call me a dustbin junkie because I would take anything.
DeleteMost serious addiction was heroin, now methadone but I've also been addicted to various prescription meds including cough bottles and benzos. Also aerosols when I was in school.
Hope you're well too x
I will so have to check this doc out on iplayer! xx
ReplyDeleteI'd check it out, very interesting x
DeleteOh I have shit loads of addictions lol
ReplyDeleteCoffee! - It makes me sick now that I am pregnant, but on normal days I can not go without my morning jolt..
Green tea: I just have to have it.. I love it.. It relaxes me..
Shoes, purses : They make me feel so good.. They always fit (unless you are knocked up and bloated).. and you dont have to worry about your weight, and about the size or anything.. They never make me feel fat - and I know I can ALWAYS buy it when I want one..
Perfumes: They define my everyday.. I wear different ones depending on my mood.. Perfumes are another thing that make me feel me - whithout having to worry about my size..
Internet: Working with tech support - loving blogger and so on.. A day without having internet for me is a day in hell..
My cellphone: After I moved to Sweden, I don't use it as much - but God knows.. Without it I feel naked..
TV and TV shows: They are the best braindead relaxing item.. When I am stressed, I toss on gilmore girls - and let their blabs take me away.. So relaxing..
Hehe - there are a whole bunch of other things too but I guess I should stop this wall of text ^^
<3
The more I think about it the more things I think I'm addicted to also, the list is endless. Once they're not affecting my life negatively I don't worry too much but I still don't like the idea of relying on something too much,
DeleteMuch love x
Now this right here is another excellent post. Yes we are all addicts deep down inside. Let me think although this shouldn't be hard.
ReplyDeleteFood: Mcdonalds and peanut butter twix in this category. It can change sometimes. Like if I try something new and like it. If it gives me that high after I am done eating. I will be back for more. Like one time I kept going to taco bell for a huge grilled stuff burrito. And that Twix. I would buy 8-10 at a time and hide it in my room until my husband found it. I am 2 months clean of peanut butter twix.
the internet: Oh yeah live on this computer. I can be watching something on tv or netflix and still be on my computer. I use this thing to death. It even helps me when I am working out because I will go to youtube and watch music videos while I am working out or watch ana movies and things like that. I don't even really watch the people I subscribed to over the past couple of years. They just don't seem so important right now.
Shopping: At one point( after my divorce ) I was a shop a holic like seriously. I would buy stuff just to buy it. I would have no money and would buy it any of course causing my account to go over constantly. It took me until I started dating my husband to drop that habit. Every now and then I have make sure not to go down that same path. It can happen easily for me.
Okay I am off to work and I enjoyed our chat this morning :-) I hope people read this because this is so true. I may post a link to this later. People need to open their eyes and realize we are only human and we all have problems and addictions in one forum or another.
Love you Ruby
Thanks Winter glad to know I'm not the only one x
ReplyDeleteOh addictions lol...I have a very addictive personality for sure. and diet pills are my weakness too. I have tried probably every pill on the market. My new one is Raspberry Ketones started taking them at the beginning of the month they were recommended by Dr. Oz and they have done nothing for me but make my breath smell like raspberries lol. I will admit I do not take diet pill in the hope to loss weight as much as I am searching for a legal way to feel like I am on meth again. I was full of energy. Did things and of course was way to skinny but I miss that.
ReplyDeleteCigarettes are a major problem for me. I have been smoking for 21 year OMG!!! I get to work at 8 and have my first break at 10 and most days I am starting down the clock waiting for it to say 10 cause I am dieing for a smoke by that time I know LOSER lol
And then my beer this is getting worse for me and I know it. I have to have at least one every night I never wanted to be like that because of my mom but I find myself justifying it because I am rarely "drunk" when I go to bed that only happens if I go to the bar instead of staying home.
I am sure my list could go on and on but you get the point have a great day and thanks again for all your love and support ruby you rock!!
Right back at ya Linny, you rock too.
ReplyDeleteI had been clean for 8 months and went to visit my sister in Australia, I relapsed on meth over there, I'm glad I've never come across it in this country as I found it super addictive plus the weight loss thing makes it more appealing too.
I'm a big smoker and I hate it, maybe some day we could make a pact to give up? Some day lol
Lots of love to you Linny x
music, black coffee, swimming, art and -
ReplyDeletealthough i am trying to fight it - my mac book and my more than silly iphone
xxx
sorry "forgot" one of the major ones:
ReplyDeleteSUGAR!!!!!!!!!
Yes I am a sugar addict too, maybe the most addictive of them all x
DeleteAddictions are an odd thing for me. If I notice I'm using/doing something too often, or even show a slight sign of addiction I give the thing up immediately.
ReplyDeleteExcept for food. You can't quit food cold-turkey. I wish you could.
I wish I could do that x
ReplyDeleteI tend to give things up as well when there's any indication they'll become addictive, aside from the ED and caffeine (which is mostly for practical reasons; staying awake, appetite suppressant). The unusual thing is that from the drugs I've experienced, I've never really had much of a strong enough reaction (emotionally) to warrant wanting to do it again. I think most of my addictive behaviour stems from my obsessive compulsiveness rather than extreme chemical reactions. So generally, in terms of mind-altering substances, I only take them if they serve a tangible purpose and are effective in doing so, which is why I barely ever drink alcohol (dislike the taste) or smoke at all (allergic to tobacco).
ReplyDeleteI think that's great you don't feel the need to use substances,
DeleteI seem to have a very addictive personality x
Cigarettes, food, diet coke, I'm addicted to all of those and I think I have an extremely addictive personality as well as an obsessive one, so I worry about alcoholism, drug addiction etc. even though it is not in the family and no one I know has had a problem.
ReplyDeleteI'm off to watch that show now actually, it looks really good :)
Take care beautiful xxxxx
Yes I'm the same but addiction is rife in my family so I guess genetics are against me,
DeleteThe show is pretty good, I like the presenter,
Lots of love Gabi x
This was an amazing post. I just loaded the doc on my computer. Going to watch it now. Fabulous.. xo
ReplyDeleteLaughing Gas is NOS, it's an option you can get here when you're giving birth. They take it away when you have to push, in case you get too high to forget to push. t=They gave it to Mum and she had so much with me she passed out between contractions.
ReplyDeleteI only use diet pills as a pre-gym caffeine boost when I don't have time for the pre-workout coffee.
Addiction runs in my family, it's why I won't go near drugs. the feeling of happiness and forgetting who I am is so seductive I won't let myself have it. I refuse to let myself get the contacts to get what drugs are available down here, coz I'd never stop. Instead I get addicted to yarn, fibre, knitting, MLP, dolls, Minecraft, gaming, music, internet etc. Meh.
Love you <3
Brilliant post! Tempted to do one similar...
ReplyDeleteFound myself nodding a lot! Fags, check! Internet, check! Anorexia, check! Re the drifters, mine were mint wispas (which went out) and later in college when my anorexia developed my only safe food was peanut butter kit kats! Mad but true! TV, when I was a kid it was Buffy, then the simpsons. I used to get angry if I missed an episode.
As a teenager I loved desperate housewives and bad girls, and then got hooked on all the soaps, then doctor who, then soaps again.
Then exercise... to this day I get really moody if I can't get out to go for a walk...
Umm, I'm probably addicted to alcohol, self harm, ice lollies (low calorie and so soothing), internet, tv shows (I've also watched entire shows back to back for hours/days), coffee, music possibly (I freak out if I'm not listening to music, I never put my iPod down). I'm not sure what else, maybe diet coke, I recently realised I'm drinking about 2 or 3 litres of it a day. Oh and dieting obviously, trying to stop binging/purging is the most impossible thing I've ever attempted.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought I've got such an addictive personality. I suppose everyone does to some extent?
I hope you're okay. Take care.
I have a hugely addictive personality :( I seemed to know this from a young age, bc I remember being around 13 and scared to try alcohol, because something inside me *knew* I'd become addicted. When I started smoking heroin, I didn't tell myself, 'it won't happen to me, I won't get hooked', I told myself, 'it's just a matter of time before you start waking up sick, stop now', but I just couldn't make myself stop... part of my reasoning, was to help me lose weight, bc everyone on it was skinny... but the sick thing now, is that it *makes* me want to eat :( and I've been bingeing on it lately... yeh, I suck. So, I just wanna fricken EAT all the time. *Sigh* I *have* to stop both, but I don't know if I can do it in the UK.
ReplyDeleteSorry I've been absent, so much going on here, it's hard to find the time to get online.
Love you though sweetie. Miss you tonnes xxx
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ReplyDelete