Usual Monday morning routine for me today
Doctors appointment first thing, chemist to pick up meds and dog walking
The sea was so calm this morning, it's usually a surfers paradise
Normally my doctors appointment is short and sweet punctuated with inane small talk but today I had something important (in my eyes, probably not his) to talk to him about today
I mentioned olanzapine in yesterdays post and following a comment from the lovely Bella, over at Too much, not enough it got me thinking
I've always known that a side effect of olanzapine (zyprexa) is weight gain but the way it was explained to me was that it increases appetite and I can control that so I wasn't too worried
I was put on it when I first went to treatment in 2005, it was prescribed for anxiety
I've been on it since but as you readers know, I abused it and used it as a sleeping pill
So last night I did a little investigating and found loads about olanzapine and weight gain
Metabolic Effects
Recent studies have established that olanzipine disturbs the metabolism by making the body take preferentially it's energy from fat (instead of privileging carbohydrates)
Olanzapine promotes fat accumulation
Olanzapine may cause body weight gain and hyperphagia (obsessive hunger) by altering appetite signalling in the brain
I was outraged to read this and marched straight in to my mother to tell her of my findings
'But your sister told you that ages ago' she said
I have no memory of this, probably because I was stoned out of my head on the bloody thing
I am so annoyed
Annoyed at myself for not researching it properly sooner
And annoyed at my doctors for lying to me
It's ironic that I was put on it to help anxiety but it causes the very thing makes me the most anxious
WEIGHT GAIN
Ay ay ay
So armed with my research I waited in the waiting room rehearsing my angry but clever speech, refusing to take it ever again
To my frustration my usual doctor was on holidays and I was fobbed off with his stand in
'Congratulations on your new job' she said to me
'What job' I asked
'Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else'
This was going well
She wrote out my prescriptions and I took the opportunity to ask her about the side effects
The phone rings and interrupts me
'You don't look like your gaining weight'
I felt like crying out 'How the bloody hell do you know, maybe I'm actually supposed to be thinner but the bloody olanzapine is storing fat all over my body'
'I wouldn't worry' she says
Easy for her to say
Anyway she didn't have the power to change my meds so I took the prescription while secretly plotting to throw it in the nearest bin
This actually solves 2 of my problems in one fell swoop
No more overtaking my meds and no more unwanted fatty deposits
Thinking back to when I was in treatment everyone and their mother was on olanzapine and I remember referring to it as 'the new valium'
Shrinks think it is nectar from the Gods and it's not addictive (I beg to differ)
I hate the way they hand out pills like they're smarties
When I was in treatment I was on 4 medications, methadone, duloxatine, zimovane and olanzapine
I was a walking pharmacy and the thing is I didn't need any of them (bar methadone)
I think I need to solve my issues not cover over them with meds and more meds
I'd love to know about you, have any of you been on olanzapine or any other medication that had adverse side effects?
I think synthetic, man made drugs are a lot more harmful than natural drugs
That's my experience anyway
Coming off heroin cold turkey takes a week at most, a week of hell yes but it won't kill you
I've come off benzos and it can take months before you feel normal again
Cold turkey from alcohol can kill you
I've been weaning off methadone for the last 2 years and I'm only half way there
It has ruined my teeth and gives me severe constipation
If I don't take it everyday I'll go in to horrific withdrawel. Many say it's worse coming off methadone than it is off heroin
I'd well believe it
Well at least I know now and can make an informed decison
Curiosity got the better of me last night and I weighed myself
I've lost a little
I'll post stats soon
After my shower I noticed my hair coming out in handfuls
I'm also going grey
Not yet 30 and I'm going grey
I'm not surprised what with the things I put my body through
I've stopped taking the diet pills also, they make me feel too sick and I now don't trust any medication
Are you on any medication?
Does it help you or hinder you?
Id love to know
Thanks for reading this and as always lots of love x
I am so sorry - I didnt realise you were on Olanzapine! You wrote Zyprexa all the time I didnt realise it was Olanzapine! Thats what I was prescribed by the shrink - he also told me "it causes weight gain - but not to worry your skinny you could do with putting on a few pounds" I have never taken one ever because of that and I had no idea you were on Olanzipine. I was prescribed it to help me sleep as I had severe insomnia and hallucinations and night terrors and was anxious too. They dont think it has many side effects?! I just took the leaflet out the box and the side effects list are as long as my arm! I am glad you are not taking them - maybe they are the reason you have been bingeing and purging so much?! OMG I cant believe this! I am so outraged also - but doctors always seem to play down the side effects of medicines from my experience. Every antibiotic I have ever had - even the ones not containing penicillin have made me violently sick and the doctors are like "thats fine" - I have to tell them repeatedly that I need anti sickness medicine whenever they prescribe the antibiotics to help keep them down - DO THEY NOT READ THE NOTES?! its every fucking time - have you had kidney problems before - YES I FUCKING HAVE ITS ALL IN THE EFFING NOTES!!!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to be very specific with doctors..
I hope you feel better, I would love to know how you are after being off the Olanzapine for a few days and get those damn things out of your system.
Lots of love - and sorry for the long comment again...
Much love x
No need to apologize at all I love getting long comments.
DeleteRayya, I am so angry at myself for taking it for so long without questioning it, that's so not like me.
The hyperphagia (obsessive hunger) would definitely explain the binging and purging. It's ironic that it could actually be causing the thing it's prescribed for. I'm just glad I now know the truth. Thanks for your support, I'm glad you didn't take it either. All my love x
oh ruby i'm sorry! the hair will grow back (could it be a side effect of your meds both have got some really nasty side effects!)and for the grey - you can dye it any colour you like! methadone is very strong very addictive and i hope you are able to reduce the dosage soon. i got paroxetin and got suicidal - i might be everything but not and never suicidal, so i stopped talking them before they manage to make me fat which seroxat (paroxetin) does. zyprexa is truly an antipsychotic, also used to treat schizophrenia, but it makes one calm and calm people are easy to treat, well thats my theory. A friend of mime was put on it for years due to a psychotic episoe when she was 16 and she gained 50 lbs on it and - after stopping to take the pills slowly lost all that weight gain. But to answer your question, i have experienced that no pill really helps because if you numb anxiety you will never ever be able to deal with it. The ED problem needs a new way of thinking in order to be solved and you be willing to give up on a huge part of your identity, which is the toughest part. As for the methadone, as bad as it is - it is - IMAO - about the only thing you really need to take and i would not mix it with too many other meds, ruby really! do not shift from one abuse to another!do not make this part of your identity, too.
ReplyDeletexo
Loulou (being a smart arse again, sry- too many medical student friends...)
I wholeheartedly agree Loulou, handing out pills is like putting a plaster on a broken leg, no help at all.
DeleteI think it's a total cop out on the doctors behalf, even if I did gain weight that does not mean I'm better, it simply means I've gained weight. I've said before that I was equally as sick at 77lbs as I was at 130lbs. I'm lucky to have a very experienced and insightful therapist who knows more about eating disorders than all the doctors I've ever seen put together. Apologies, I'm very worked up about this.
Thanks for your insight Loulou, I hope you are well,
All my love x
oh god yes, babe, that is so very true (as sick at 77lbs as I was at 130lbs), they have this strange logic "weight gain equals health" you can completely ruin your health and life with your ED while having a normal BMI...
Deletexx
I am glad you did your research. I know this lady is not your permanent doctor but she still respect what you are trying to do. She is the doctor, you pay her, so in a way they should be doing what the patient is asking them to do. Thank god she is not your doctor because I don't get a friendly vibe from her.
ReplyDeleteSee look at that. You are taking the next step in your recovery without even realizing it :-) Oh will you tell your threapist about that next week and tell your doc that you don't want to to be on the meds anymore?
Oh I found some dresses. I am going to send them to your email.
Thank you Winter x
DeleteIt scary stuff. Valium was the killer for me with withdrawals, but I tapered back my Olanzapine and didn't get side effects when I stopped. But never, ever, taking benzos again.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you stopped the diet pills, too. They seemed go be making you feel awful
Much love
xxBella
Yes, it's the good old fashioned way from here on in, feel better already for not taking the olanzapine, thanks again,
ReplyDeleteLots of love x
It scares me to death to be on medication. Both my mom and brother have to be on meds constantly. The only thing I take is birth control, but that's not a bad thing. I never want to be on meds if I can help it. Oh and congrats on losing a little.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I guess I learned the hard way that it's not always helpful,
ReplyDeleteHope you're well sweetie x
The fucking doctors here do that too. Throw meds at you and don't offer any other help. It's why I've given up.
ReplyDeleteNana-M was given something for postpartum depression that WILL kill you if you EVER stop taking it. I cross-research side effects three times before taking ANYTHING now. Fucking hell.
Arohanui <3